Overwhelming Compassion

In my randomness of youtube videos that play in the background while I mindlessly work I found one that seemed harmless. Little did I know this would be another one of those difficult videos.

https://youtu.be/cwYKD8nCWjo

The first video is about Daniel Villegas who was incarcerated for 25 years, which started from a false confession at 16 years of age.

The second one turned me into tears. It was about the sentencing of Trey Alexander Relford who pled guilty to robbing and murdering Salahuddin Jitmoud, a 22 year old Pizza Delivery Driver. The father, Abdul-Munim, was able to make a statement before sentencing, and that statement is something that every person wants to say but has more trouble finding the justification:

“Trey Alexander Relford. I feel so, so sad for you that you have to be in this situation. I wish I could help you as I helped my son to be a good citizen. If Salahuddin were to be here, if he alive he would forgive you. That’s the way he was, that’s the way he is. I’m not angry at you for being part of hurting my son. I’m angry at the Devil. I blame the Devil (the Devil) who misguided you and misleading you to do such a horrible crime. No I don’t blame you. I’m not angry at you at all. I want you to know that. I forgive you on behalf of Salahuddin and his mother.”

Then Mr. Relford made a statement apologizing, admiring what a father could do and not comprehending the pain of losing his own 4 year old daughter. He thanks him for his forgiveness, and they proceed to openly shake hands, then embrace.

The third one is about James Roeder and his wife Ashley. Ashley was pregnant during the robbery, and the judge placed a no contact order. While they were separate Ashley gave birth, and the Judge allowed, contrary to the no-contact order, a temporary exception for James to meet his son. He was sentences to 4 years, and Ashley got probation.

The fourth and final is about a Justice of the Peace and the marriage of Dean Berkenhoff and Monica Morrison. There was an objection at the end, and it was because of the need to want Colton Berkenhoff present. Colton was their 11 year old son who passed away suddenly in 2012, and his organs were donated. The ceremony revealed the heart recipient, where mom and dad got to hear Colton’s heart again. Simply an overwhelmingly emotional event.

And there is where some of my tears went.

#allthefeels

Verses Three

Il Dolce Suono

Italian

Il dolce suono mi colpì di sua voce!
Ah, quella voce m’è qui nel cor discesa!
Edgardo! io ti son resa. Edgardo! Ah! Edgardo, mio! Si’, ti son resa!
fuggita io son da’ tuoi nemici. (nemici)
Un gelo me serpeggia nel sen!
trema ogni fibra!
vacilla il piè!
Presso la fonte meco t’assidi alquanto! Si’, Presso la fonte meco t’assidi.
Ohimè, sorge il tremendo fantasma e ne separa!
Qui ricovriamo, Edgardo, a piè dell’ara.
Sparsa è di rose!

Un’armonia celeste, di’, non ascolti?
Ah, l’inno suona di nozze!
Il rito per noi s’appresta! Oh, me felice!
Oh gioia che si sente, e non si dice!
Ardon gl’incensi!
Splendon le sacre faci, splendon intorno!
Ecco il ministro!
Porgimi la destra!
Oh lieto giorno!
Al fin son tua, al fin sei mio,
a me ti dona un Dio.
Ogni piacer più grato,
mi fia con te diviso
Del ciel clemente un riso
la vita a noi sarà.

English

The sweet sound of his voice struck me!
Ah, that voice has entered my heart!
Edgardo! I surrender to you, oh my Edgardo!
I have escaped from your enemies.
A chill creeps into my breast!
Every fibre trembles!
My foot falters!
Sit down by the fountain with me a while!
Alas, the tremendous phantom arises and separates us!
Let us take refuge here, Edgardo, at the foot of the altar.
It is scattered with roses!

A heavenly harmony, tell me, do you not hear it?
Ah, the marriage hymn is playing!
They are preparing the rite for us! Oh, how happy I am!
Oh joy that is felt but not said!
The incense is burning!
The holy torches are shining, shining around!
Here is the minister!
Give me your right hand!
Oh joyful day!
At last I am yours, at last you are mine,
A god gives you to me.
Let me share
The greatest pleasures with you,
Life for us will be
A smile from merciful heaven.


Invictus

Out of the night which covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


The Destruction of Sennacherib

The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold,
And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;
And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,
When the blue wave rolls nightly on deep Galilee.

Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green,
That host with their banners at sunset were seen:
Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn hath blown,
That host on the morrow lay withered and strown.

For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed;
And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!

And there lay the steed with his nostril all wide,
But through it there rolled not the breath of his pride;
And the foam of his gasping lay white on the turf,
And cold as the spray of the rock-beating surf.

And there lay the rider distorted and pale,
With the dew on his brow, and the rust on his mail:
And the tents were all silent, the banners alone,
The lances unlifted, the trumpet unblown.

And the widows of Ashur are loud in their wail,
And the idols are broke in the temple of Baal;
And the might of the Gentile, unsmote by the sword,
Hath melted like snow in the glance of the Lord.


O Fortuna

Original
O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.

Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
status malus,
vana salus
semper dissolubilis,
obumbrata
et velata
michi quoque niteris;
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.

Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!

Translation
O Fortune,
like the moon
you are changeable,
ever waxing
and waning;
hateful life
first oppresses
and then soothes
as fancy takes it;
poverty
and power
it melts them like ice.

Fate – monstrous
and empty,
you whirling wheel,
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain
and always fades to nothing,
shadowed
and veiled
you plague me too;
now through the game
I bring my bare back
to your villainy.

Fate is against me
in health
and virtue,
driven on
and weighted down,
always enslaved.
So at this hour
without delay
pluck the vibrating strings;
since Fate
strikes down the strong man,
everyone weep with me!

WordLock… Easy to set, never forget.

So, I have one of these WordLock bicycle locks, and it was cool to learn how to set it up and change the combination.

The only problem is: I forgot what we set the combination to. #sadface

So, without further ado, to programming!

The Scenario:

Lets assume for a moment we know two things:

  1. We know there are 10,000 combinations, and that the combination that it is set to is a word in the english language.
  2. We have a good understanding of what the word might be if we saw it.

So, with those facts, we’ll need two things:

  1. A list of 4-letter words, which we’ll steal *cough* borrow from litscape.com
  2. Some programming that goes through every combination possible and compares it to the wordlist

So, the programming:

<?php

function make4($number)
{
        $num = intval($number);
        if (($num < 0) || ($num > 9999))
        {
                die("out of range");
        }
        $ret = "";

        if (strlen($num) == 4)
        {
                $ret = $num;
        }
        if (strlen($num) == 3)
        {
                $ret = "0${num}";
        }
        if (strlen($num) == 2)
        {
                $ret = "00${num}";
        }
        if (strlen($num) == 1)
        {
                $ret = "000${num}";
        }
        return $ret;
}

function combination($number)
{
        $letters = array(
                array('B', 'F', 'R', 'M', 'D', 'T', 'S', 'W', 'P', 'L'),
                array('Y', 'R', 'W', 'H', 'E', 'L', 'O', 'I', 'A', 'U'),
                array('S', 'N', 'T', 'M', 'R', 'E', 'L', 'A', 'O', 'K'),
                array('E', 'T', 'S', 'M', 'K', 'G', 'D', 'L', 'Y', 'P'),
        );
        $code = "";
        $combo = make4($number);
        for ($x = 0; $x < 4; $x++)
        {
                $digit = substr($combo, $x, 1);
                $letter = $letters[$x][$digit];
                $code .= $letter;
        }
        return $code;
}

$words = "";
include('words4.php');
$word = explode(' ', $words);
echo "Loaded " . count($word) . " words\n";

foreach ($word as $w)
{
        $possible = strtoupper($w);
        echo "Trying: $possible\n";
        for ($x = 0; $x < 10000; $x++)
        {
                $code = combination($x);
                if ($code == $possible)
                {
                        echo "Found: $possible\n";
                }
        }
}
?>

I’ve take the space-separated wordlist and saved it as an assignment to the $words variable in a separate file. vim doesn’t do justice with multi-lined non-carriage returned stuff, so I’m cool with that.

After executing the above, from a wordlist of 2404 items, i’m left with 732 possible items.

It is going to be a looooooooooooooooong day 🙁

BAAS, BAKE, BALD, BALE, BALK, BALL, BALM, BAND, BANE, BANG, BANK, BANS, BARD, BARE, BARK, BARM, BARS, BASE, BASK, BASS, BATS, BEAD, BEAK, BEAM, BEAT, BEEP, BEES, BEET, BELL, BELT, BEND, BENT, BERK, BERM, BEST, BETS, BIAS, BIKE, BILE, BILK, BILL, BIND, BINS, BIOS, BIRD, BITE, BITS, BITT, BLAT, BLED, BLOG, BLOT, BOAS, BOAT, BOLD, BOLL, BOLT, BOND, BONE, BONK, BONY, BOOK, BOOM, BOOS, BOOT, BORE, BOSS, BOTS, BRAD, BRAG, BRAS, BRAT, BRAY, BRED, BULK, BULL, BUMP, BUMS, BUNK, BUNS, BUNT, BUOY, BURL, BURP, BURS, BURY, BUSK, BUST, BUSY, BUTS, BUTT, BYES, BYTE, DAME, DAMP, DAMS, DANK, DARE, DARK, DART, DATE, DEAD, DEAL, DEED, DEEM, DEEP, DEES, DELE, DELL, DEME, DEMY, DENE, DENS, DENT, DENY, DERE, DERM, DESK, DIAL, DIED, DIES, DIET, DILL, DIME, DIMS, DINE, DING, DINS, DIRE, DIRT, DISK, DOES, DOLE, DOLL, DOLT, DOME, DONE, DONS, DOOM, DORK, DORM, DOSE, DOTE, DOTS, DOTY, DRAG, DRAM, DREG, DROP, DUAL, DUEL, DUES, DUET, DUKE, DULL, DULY, DUMP, DUNE, DUNG, DUNK, DUOS, DUSK, DUST, DUTY, DYED, DYES, DYNE, FAKE, FALL, FAME, FANG, FANS, FARE, FARM, FAST, FATE, FATS, FEAT, FEED, FEEL, FEES, FEET, FELL, FELT, FEND, FENS, FILE, FILL, FILM, FIND, FINE, FINK, FINS, FIRE, FIRM, FIRS, FIST, FITS, FLAG, FLAP, FLAT, FLAY, FLED, FLEE, FLOE, FLOG, FLOP, FOAL, FOAM, FOES, FOLD, FOLK, FOND, FONT, FOOD, FOOL, FOOT, FORE, FORK, FORM, FORT, FRAY, FREE, FRET, FROG, FROM, FUEL, FULL, FUME, FUMY, FUND, FUNK, FURS, FURY, FUSE, FUSS, LAKE, LAME, LAMP, LAND, LANE, LANK, LARD, LARK, LASS, LAST, LATE, LEAD, LEAK, LEAP, LEAS, LEEK, LEES, LEKS, LEND, LENS, LENT, LESS, LEST, LETS, LIED, LIES, LIKE, LILY, LIME, LIMP, LIMY, LINE, LINK, LINT, LIRE, LISP, LIST, LITE, LOAD, LOAM, LOLL, LONE, LONG, LOOK, LOOM, LOOP, LOOS, LOOT, LORD, LORE, LOSE, LOSS, LOST, LOTS, LULL, LUMP, LUNG, LURE, LURK, LUST, LUTE, LYRE, MAKE, MALE, MALL, MALT, MANE, MANS, MANY, MARE, MARK, MARL, MARS, MART, MASK, MASS, MAST, MATE, MATS, MATT, MEAD, MEAL, MEAT, MEEK, MEET, MELD, MELT, MEME, MEND, MENS, MERE, MESS, MILD, MILE, MILK, MILL, MILS, MIME, MIND, MINE, MINK, MINT, MIRE, MISS, MIST, MITE, MITT, MOAT, MOLD, MOLE, MOLT, MOMS, MONK, MOOD, MOOS, MOOT, MORE, MOSS, MOST, MULE, MULL, MUMS, MURK, MUSE, MUSK, MUST, MUTE, MUTT, PALE, PALL, PALM, PALS, PANE, PANG, PANS, PANT, PARE, PARK, PARS, PART, PASS, PAST, PATE, PATS, PEAK, PEAL, PEAS, PEAT, PEEK, PEEL, PEEP, PELT, PEND, PENS, PENT, PERK, PERM, PERT, PEST, PETS, PIED, PIES, PIKE, PILE, PILL, PIMP, PINE, PING, PINK, PINS, PINT, PITS, PITY, PLAY, PLED, PLOD, PLOP, PLOT, PLOY, POEM, POET, POKE, POKY, POLE, POLL, POMP, POND, PONY, POOL, POOP, PORE, PORK, PORT, POSE, POST, POSY, POTS, PRAM, PRAY, PREP, PREY, PROD, PROM, PROP, PROS, PUKE, PULL, PULP, PUMP, PUNK, PUNS, PUNT, PUNY, PURE, PUTS, PUTT, PYRE, RAKE, RAMP, RAMS, RAND, RANG, RANK, RANT, RARE, RASP, RATE, RATS, READ, REAK, REAL, REAM, REAP, REED, REEK, REEL, RELY, REND, RENT, REST, RHOS, RIAL, RIEL, RILE, RILL, RILY, RIME, RIMS, RIND, RING, RINK, RIOT, RISE, RISK, RITE, ROAD, ROAM, ROES, ROLE, ROLL, ROMP, ROOD, ROOK, ROOM, ROOT, ROSE, ROSY, ROTE, ROTS, RUED, RUES, RULE, RUMS, RUNE, RUNG, RUNS, RUNT, RUSE, RUST, RUTS, SAKE, SALE, SALT, SAME, SAND, SANE, SANG, SANK, SASS, SATE, SEAL, SEAM, SEAS, SEAT, SEED, SEEK, SEEM, SEEP, SEES, SELL, SEND, SENT, SERE, SETS, SHAM, SHED, SHOE, SHOP, SHOT, SILK, SILL, SILT, SINE, SING, SINK, SINS, SIRE, SIRS, SITE, SITS, SLAM, SLAP, SLAT, SLAY, SLED, SLOE, SLOG, SLOP, SLOT, SOAK, SOAP, SOLD, SOLE, SOME, SOMS, SONG, SONS, SOOT, SORE, SORT, SOTS, SUED, SUES, SUET, SULK, SUMP, SUMS, SUNG, SUNK, SUNS, SURE, SWAG, SWAM, SWAP, SWAT, SWAY, TAKE, TALE, TALK, TALL, TAME, TAMP, TAMS, TANK, TANS, TARE, TARP, TARS, TART, TASK, TEAK, TEAL, TEAM, TEAS, TEED, TEEM, TEES, TELL, TEND, TENS, TENT, TERM, TEST, THAT, THEE, THEM, THEY, TIED, TIES, TIKE, TILE, TILL, TILT, TIME, TINE, TING, TINS, TINT, TINY, TIRE, TOAD, TOED, TOES, TOLD, TOLL, TOME, TONE, TONG, TONS, TOOK, TOOL, TOOT, TORE, TORT, TOSS, TOTE, TOTS, TRAM, TRAP, TRAY, TREE, TREK, TROD, TROT, TROY, TUMS, TUNE, TUSK, TWOS, TYKE, WAKE, WALK, WALL, WAND, WANE, WANT, WARD, WARE, WARM, WARP, WARS, WART, WARY, WASP, WATT, WEAK, WEED, WEEK, WEEP, WELD, WELL, WELT, WEND, WENT, WERE, WEST, WETS, WHAM, WHAT, WHET, WHEY, WHOM, WHOP, WILD, WILE, WILL, WILT, WILY, WIMP, WIND, WINE, WING, WINK, WINS, WIRE, WIRY, WISE, WISP, WIST, WITS, WOAD, WOES, WOKE, WOKS, WONS, WONT, WOOD, WOOL, WOOS, WORD, WORE, WORK, WORM, WORT, WRAP, WYES

Edit:

For the sake of justice, none of the above words looked familiar.

I headed over to the wordlock FAQ and did the following:

I can’t open my lock. What combination does my lock open to?
Try of the following factory-set default combinations to open your lock: BOLT, SPELL, PACK, SHED, TREE, GYMS, WORDS.

Seems the factory default worked, which means I NEVER SET THE DAMN LOCK IN THE FIRST PLACE :/

Cluster-Fk’n-Headaches

Yes, Cluster Headaches.

This morning my alarm goes off at 6:09am of which I could feel the approaching of the common pain in the left hemisphere. I naturally hit the alarm, downstairs, grabbed some water and drank some, ran back upstairs and passed back out, mumbling that I needed to sleep a bit more.

I fiercely woke again at 8:20am with a roaring scream, the pain storming the entire left side of my cranium. I stumbled downstairs and made it into the bathroom, the light piercing my left eyelid and causing me to tilt to port. I threw the hot water on in the shower, stripped down to nothing, and proceeded to sit in the tub while the water beat my hair over my face. I sit for what I felt was an hour in the rushing water, nothing disorientation and water. I managed to gain a moment of reprieve, standing out of the shower enough to dry off and get a new set of clothing on before grabbing some water and bumbling back upstairs.

Lying in bed again, my stomach started to feel. It was a wierd feel, too, and the water I had consumed ended up making it into a bucket beside my bed. Throughout all the pain, stumbling, moving, vomiting, I had passed back out.

WebMD gives it the following helpfulness:

The term “cluster headache” refers to a type of headache that recurs over a period of time. People who have cluster headaches experience an episode one to three times per day during a period of time (the cluster period), which may last from two weeks to three months. People who suffer from cluster headaches get them at the same time each year, such as the spring or fall.

A cluster headache typically awakens a person from sleep one to two hours after going to bed. These nocturnal attacks can be more severe than the daytime attacks. Attacks appear to be linked to the circadian rhythm (or “biological” clock). Cluster headaches can be more intense than a migraine attack but fortunately do not last as long as a migraine headache.

The headaches may disappear completely (go into “remission”) for months or years, only to recur without any warning.

So, that’s it. My “remission” period is gone and my term has started again. I used to track this on a spreadsheet to track the frequency and guesstimate when the next episode was going to be. I had since lost that, which was unfortunate when I went to look for it and found a MOUNTAIN of old google documents that I never remembered.

I had originally blamed my old cigarette smoking habit on the cause of this, but after my 12 April “Stop” date I haven’t consumed any nicotine and have significantly cut down my caffeine intake to the point of “no cream, no sugar, black coffee”.

I even found my injections of Sumavel Dosepro, which should have been discarded on 16 August 2015 after being filled a year before when these Cluster Headaches last came to light. I have 2 full injections of them, and I bought them at $50 each (that’s without copays cause insurance doesn’t cover), and I finally needed them and…..ugh….

Cluster fk’n headaches.